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I’ve spent more and more time here for the past 6 months, since we’ve got engaged, so I’ve used his computer a lot more as well.

I was messing around one day and found a ton of pornography on it.

Arab parents like to brag when their daughter marries someone really accomplished like a doctor, a lawyer, or an owner of three or more gas stations. انت صلك زمان في هوليوود فيمكن بالاول تكون مفاجئة عليك وهدا اشي طبيعي. من الممكن انو تكون صدمة كبيرة عليك اذا اول عرس عربي حضرتو يكون عرسك انت.

اعراسنا ويمكن يكونوا شوي تقال على الاعصاب فبنصحك تروح على عرس او عرسين قبل عرسك عشان تشوف الفوضة بعينك.

Well, we all know that the modern Arab woman suffers from a warped mentality.

We want to be modern, yet we don't want to let go of traditional values, the values that save us from being cheap..like any other living breathing female on God's green earth.

I shift uncomfortably, choosing my words carefully. I would later learn about internalized racism and conditioning and how this shapes our preferences and self-worth.

We'll go through this process step by step, subcategory by subcategory.1) Finding a Boyfriend: There are many ways in which the Gulf woman goes about doing this.a) Online: A very popular choice...through social networking sites, chat rooms etcb)In Malls: You all know what I'm talking about.

You’re marrying Amal Alamuddin, an international award-winning barrister (for us Americans, “barrister” means lawyer, but I wrote “barrister” because it just sounds so much cooler). Yes, you are not currently an Arab, but you will become one soon enough. She’s marrying wasn’t your proudest moment, but you know what I mean.) At the wedding, the size of your family will immediately grow a hundred times over. واللبنانية بذات فخورين بجذورهم اكتر وزيادة شوي عن اللزوم. بس الافلام مرات بتيجي على العالم العربي متأخرة شوي، فما تستغربش اذا واحد عربي بقللك: “حبيتك كتير في Ocean’s Eleven.” يمكن ما عندوش خبر اصلا انو طلعت “Ocean’s Twelve” و “Ocean’s Thirteen.” وبما انو في مناطق في بيروت احلى من اي مكان في العالم، ما تفاجئ اذا معظمها مبينة كانها تقصفت امبارح. وانت كمان راح تتجوز محامية دولية مثلت ملوك ونصحت امناء العام. راح تتعلم كتير عن تاريخ وسياسة العرب خلال اخر مية سنة. و فش موضوع منحب نحكي عنو اكتر من القانون الدولي وقد ما هو صلو عم بخوننا من… وعلى فكرة، لانك راح تتجوز عربية بتدافع عن حقوق العرب، اذا كنت مفكر تكون مرشح لاي درجة سياسية في اميركا، انسى الموضوع، الا اذا طبعا نقلت على مدينة ديربورن في ولاية ميشغان.

CNN has called her “discreet.” It looks like you found the only Arab woman who wouldn’t blab to the whole world that she is dating George Clooney. I do have some words of advice for you, from one Arab guy to another soon-to-be Arab guy. But this Arab daughter is marrying freakin’ George Clooney! بس انت مش عم تتجوز اي واحدة عربية، لا، عم تتجوز خبيرة في القانون الدولي. عرسك يمكن بخلي “My Big Fat Greek Wedding” تشبه مناسبة خاصة. اذا قدرت تكسب صبية عربية ناجحة وذكية ورشيقة ودولية ومميلة وبتتكلم عدة لغات…

Initially we had web cams, I got rid of mine, he still had his and just put it away a couple months ago (5).

I had always wondered why he kept it set up right next to his computer when we didn’t use it anymore with each other.

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